Tuacahn Presents The Little Mermaid

When I found out that Tuacahn was going to do The Little Mermaid this summer, I knew I just had to take the girls. They were so excited! We made it a girls nite out & went with Grandma V & her little neighbor girl, Aunt Alesha, Aunt Angie & cousin Aiva. Grandma brought enough candy for the entire audience, but at least the sugar kept the girls awake-it was a late nite. The performance was amazing & the special effects were awesome! I was surprised by all the different songs-but loved it anyway. So glad we got to do this with some of our favorite girls!

Panguitch

The weekend after we got back from San Diego we went up to a friends cabin in Panguitch. Chris Gunn was super nice to let us stay & we had a great time! We invited the Ryan & Shannon Jones family, Glen & Rachel Page family, & Joel & Brenda Andrus family to come along. It was great for the kids to have so many playmates to chose from. Here are some of the highlights from the weekend:

The girls loved playing 'restaurant' in the yard using some old dishes we found in the bushes. They made some delicious things for us :0)

While we were there a rodeo was going on, so we went over to watch that for awhile. Reese was quite entertained by the calf roping. The rest of the kids seemed a little disturbed :0)

At the rodeo- Cam Jones, Owen, Brecken Jones, & Reese Reese & Sara Page playing houseThe favorite past time for the kids was playing in a huge tube. The kids did this ALL day long. They would push each other all over the yard. Stockton even rode the little motorcycle thru it-crazy!

Reese with Aunt Shannon. She finally found the way to Reese's heart-candy of course!

Adelyn found a grasshopper (with a broken leg) and she carried it around for over an hour!On the way to the cabin-aren't they so sweet when they are asleep?

We also did a couple little hikes in Bryce Canyon, played games, went fishing, & ate yummy food. It was a great weekend thanks to some great company!

First Hair Cut

Reese got her first hair cut & she wasn't too sure about this! She was pretty nervous, so I had to hold her on my lap while the beautician trimmed her ends & tried to even all the curls out. Her hair is still soo curly-which I love-but it gets too snarly & tangled. Each morning she wakes up with a rat's nest on the back of her head! I am hoping that a little trim will help it be more manageable. Fingers crossed!

What a cute little fart. We love you Reesie-Roo!

San Diego (Trip for Taytam)

The Monday after Taytam passed away we left for a week long family trip to San Diego. We felt like we just needed to get away from everything & try to be a 'normal' family for awhile. It felt very strange at first to be doing all this without Taytam. We thought & talked about her A LOT! It was a great trip-the kids had so much fun! We did pretty much everything there is to do: SeaWorld, LegoLand, LegoLand WaterPark, LegoLand Aquarium, San Diego Zoo, San Diego Wild Safari Park, & the Mormon Battalion Historical Site. And of course we also spent alot of time at the beach. Here are some of the highlights:

The Mormon Battalion Historical Site was awesome!

After the presentation the kids got to pan for gold, pump water, wash clothes & make bricks.

LegoLand-everything is made of Lego's-it is crazy!

Danny, Averee & Adelyn had a blast body boarding. Adee was really good at it & never wanted to stop! Even in the middle of the Zoo she asked if we could just leave & go to the beach! :0)

The water was a little cold for most of us-so we had fun on the beach playing in the sand

Owen at LegoLand

We were on the go the whole time-I think we wore Reese out!

Averee & Adelyn at LegoLand

The LegoLand Aquarium was really cool- Danny liked it better than SeaWorld. But I had to remind him that SeaWorld had Shamu :0)

We stopped by the San Diego Temple-it is one of my favorites. So gorgeous! Unfortunately it was closed for maintenance & cleaning, so this is as close as we could get.

The San Diego Wild Safari Park-quite an adventure!

SeaWorld-getting ready to get up close and personal with some sea stars

Now we will have to head home & back to reality. This trip helped us get used to Taytam not being around, but now we have to get used to her not being around at home too. School starts in about a week so that should keep us busy!

Some thoughts of Taytam

Dear Family & Friends,

Now that the dust has settled a little, we wanted to share the wonderful experience of Taytam's funeral. It went perfectly-we wouldn't change a thing. It was short, sweet & beautiful, just like Taytam's life. We kept it a very small gathering of just family. We hope that no one is hurt by this, but that is what felt right for us. We took our children a little early to the mortuary, so they could see Taytam again & take a few pictures with her. It was a precious experience to have our little family all together. Then the rest of our family gathered for a beautiful family prayer, given by Danny's brother Todd. Then we went into the chapel for the funeral. We knew that none of us would be able to sing, so our good friend Tiah Wright played the piano while her girls, Hailey & Brinlee sang 'I am a Child of God'. First, Danny spoke & he did a wonderful job. Still not sure how he made it through that? Then President Terrell Lamereaux gave a beautiful talk that brought us a lot of peace. He spoke of our Heavenly Mother, whom we hadn't even thought of yet. Even though we know that Taytam's spirit is an adult, it brought much comfort to think of our baby being taken care of by our sweet Heavenly Mother. Next, our Bishop Brad Nelson gave some comforting closing remarks. Then, Danny & all the worthy Melchizedek Priesthood Holders held Taytam in their arms to give her a name & a blessing. It was a very beautiful & spiritual moment we won't soon forget. The girls closed by singing 'Families can be Together Forever'. We went over to the Tonaquint Cemetery where my dad dedicated the grave-another beautiful prayer. Lastly, my sweet sister-in-law Shannon, brought balloons for all the children to let go & send up to Taytam. Reese didn't want to let hers go, but we finally talked her into it. It was the perfect ending to a perfect ceremony. Went spent the rest of the day with our families-eating delicious food, swimming, talking, & just enjoying each others company.

A couple days later, on Monday, we headed out to San Diego! It was an exhausting, but fun trip. We went to SeaWorld, LegoLand, San Diego Zoo Wild Safari Park, San Diego Zoo, The Mormon Battalion Historical Site, & of course the beach. We had a great time & enjoyed spending time together as we try adjust to life without Taytam.

Now, we are home & trying to adjust to life without Taytam here. It wasn't as hard to come home as we expected, but it will definitely take some time. We just try to stay busy & think happy thoughts. 'Happy thoughts' is why I am writing to all of you again. We have felt so many prayers & so much love & concern that we wanted to share a few thoughts, experiences, quotes & scriptures that have brought comfort & peace to our broken hearts. We hope that you will feel the same comfort & peace...

Danny shared this experience in his talk during Taytam's funeral. Up until that point I had not told anyone else. It is hard to talk about & I worried that people might think I was a little crazy, but this experience was as real as I am sitting here. After learning how much this helped family members who heard it at Taytam's funeral, I have decided to share it with all of you:

At the ER, they continued to administer CPR to Taytam. I was able to sit by her, hold her hand, & talk to her. Of course I was begging her to come back, to wake up, anything! I was petitioning God-I wanted a miracle. My miracle. The doctor told me that because of the recent lab results there was nothing more they could do for her & that they would stop doing CPR when I was ready. I laid my head down on the bed next to Taytam & I received my miracle. I closed my eyes & I saw her. She was standing on a beautiful green hillside, the grass & flowers were knee deep. She was wearing a light colored sun-dress, she had waist-long, blond curly hair that was moving in the breeze, the sun was shining behind her so I couldn't see her face very well but she looked about 8 years old. She was so beautiful, happy & peaceful. Words cannot do it justice. Then she spoke to my mind "I'm okay Mom, I'm okay." It was the hardest, but most spiritual experience of my life. It was my miracle. I will be forever grateful for the peace & reassurance I received in that moment & I think of it often.

The Prophet Joseph Smith said "In my leisure moments I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent & interesting. The strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these: The Lord takes many away in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, & the sorrows & evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, & we shall soon have them again."

The Prophet Brigham Young said "Leaving this world to go to Spirit Paradise is the greatest advantage of our whole existence, for I have passed from a state of sorrow, grief, mourning, woe, misery, pain, anguish & disappointment into a state of existence where I can enjoy life to the fullest extent as far as that can be done without a body. My spirit is free, I thirst no more, I run, I walk, I labor, I go, I come, I do this, I do that, whatever is required of me, nothing like pain or weakness, I am full of life, full of vigor, & I enjoy the presence of my Heavenly Father, by the power of His spirit."

Alma 40:12-And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.

We know that Taytam will be ours to raise during the Millennium, if we are true & faithful. The Prophet Joseph F. Smith taught: "The body will come forth as it is laid to rest, for there is no growth or development in the grave. As it is laid down, so will it arise, & changes to perfection will come by the law of restitution. But the Spirit will continue to expand & develop, & the body, after the resurrection, will develop to the full stature of man."

The Prophet Joseph Smith also taught that: "The mother who laid down her little child, being deprived of the privilege, the joy, & the satisfaction of bringing them up to manhood or womanhood in this world, would, after the resurrection, have all the joy, satisfaction, & pleasure, & even more than it would have been possible to have had in mortality, in seeing her child grow to the full measure of stature of its spirit."

We know that if we live according to the commandments of God, we will have the opportunity & privilege to raise Taytam, to see her grow & develop, to see her baptized & receive all the essential ordinances of the Holy Temple. What peace & comfort this gives our broken hearts. We look forward to this with hope & faith. The joy of that day, gets us through this day.

Now, for the question everyone wants to ask, but no one dares: Will we try to have another baby? The answer for now is probably. We have talked a lot about it & right now we just don't feel like this can be it, the way we end our 'childbearing years'. We feel like adding to our family would help us all to heal, & feel happy again about babies in general. We don't want to end on a sad note, so to speak. But we are going to take some time to pray, fast & attend the temple, to decide if this is really the right decision for our family. Danny had a feeling years ago that we would have 5 children, but now we wonder if that was to have 5 children or raise 5 children? We also know that we would never regret having another child, but years down the road we might regret it if we don't. There are many questions, thoughts & feelings that we need to sort through, it will just take some time.

Averee (8), Adelyn (6), Owen (5) & Reese (2) are doing really well & asking lots of questions-which has been a great learning experience for all of us. The hardest question is WHY, especially when the answer is BECAUSE. Taytam has made the Plan of Salvation a much more real concept for us & we are grateful for our testimonies of this wonderful gospel truth. We miss our sweet little Tater-tot so much it hurts, but we pray that through this experience we can all learn, grow, & feel the comfort of the Holy Ghost & the love of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. This has been, without a doubt, the hardest thing we have ever experienced, but also the most spiritual. It is quite amazing what you can survive if you rely on the Lord. Heaven has never felt closer.

Thank you again & again for all the prayers, thoughts, hugs, cards, gifts, acts of service, flowers, texts, & emails. We could never repay the kindness we have received. We love you!

Love, Danny & Maren