Tuacahn Presents The Little Mermaid

When I found out that Tuacahn was going to do The Little Mermaid this summer, I knew I just had to take the girls. They were so excited! We made it a girls nite out & went with Grandma V & her little neighbor girl, Aunt Alesha, Aunt Angie & cousin Aiva. Grandma brought enough candy for the entire audience, but at least the sugar kept the girls awake-it was a late nite. The performance was amazing & the special effects were awesome! I was surprised by all the different songs-but loved it anyway. So glad we got to do this with some of our favorite girls!

Panguitch

The weekend after we got back from San Diego we went up to a friends cabin in Panguitch. Chris Gunn was super nice to let us stay & we had a great time! We invited the Ryan & Shannon Jones family, Glen & Rachel Page family, & Joel & Brenda Andrus family to come along. It was great for the kids to have so many playmates to chose from. Here are some of the highlights from the weekend:

The girls loved playing 'restaurant' in the yard using some old dishes we found in the bushes. They made some delicious things for us :0)

While we were there a rodeo was going on, so we went over to watch that for awhile. Reese was quite entertained by the calf roping. The rest of the kids seemed a little disturbed :0)

At the rodeo- Cam Jones, Owen, Brecken Jones, & Reese Reese & Sara Page playing houseThe favorite past time for the kids was playing in a huge tube. The kids did this ALL day long. They would push each other all over the yard. Stockton even rode the little motorcycle thru it-crazy!

Reese with Aunt Shannon. She finally found the way to Reese's heart-candy of course!

Adelyn found a grasshopper (with a broken leg) and she carried it around for over an hour!On the way to the cabin-aren't they so sweet when they are asleep?

We also did a couple little hikes in Bryce Canyon, played games, went fishing, & ate yummy food. It was a great weekend thanks to some great company!

First Hair Cut

Reese got her first hair cut & she wasn't too sure about this! She was pretty nervous, so I had to hold her on my lap while the beautician trimmed her ends & tried to even all the curls out. Her hair is still soo curly-which I love-but it gets too snarly & tangled. Each morning she wakes up with a rat's nest on the back of her head! I am hoping that a little trim will help it be more manageable. Fingers crossed!

What a cute little fart. We love you Reesie-Roo!

San Diego (Trip for Taytam)

The Monday after Taytam passed away we left for a week long family trip to San Diego. We felt like we just needed to get away from everything & try to be a 'normal' family for awhile. It felt very strange at first to be doing all this without Taytam. We thought & talked about her A LOT! It was a great trip-the kids had so much fun! We did pretty much everything there is to do: SeaWorld, LegoLand, LegoLand WaterPark, LegoLand Aquarium, San Diego Zoo, San Diego Wild Safari Park, & the Mormon Battalion Historical Site. And of course we also spent alot of time at the beach. Here are some of the highlights:

The Mormon Battalion Historical Site was awesome!

After the presentation the kids got to pan for gold, pump water, wash clothes & make bricks.

LegoLand-everything is made of Lego's-it is crazy!

Danny, Averee & Adelyn had a blast body boarding. Adee was really good at it & never wanted to stop! Even in the middle of the Zoo she asked if we could just leave & go to the beach! :0)

The water was a little cold for most of us-so we had fun on the beach playing in the sand

Owen at LegoLand

We were on the go the whole time-I think we wore Reese out!

Averee & Adelyn at LegoLand

The LegoLand Aquarium was really cool- Danny liked it better than SeaWorld. But I had to remind him that SeaWorld had Shamu :0)

We stopped by the San Diego Temple-it is one of my favorites. So gorgeous! Unfortunately it was closed for maintenance & cleaning, so this is as close as we could get.

The San Diego Wild Safari Park-quite an adventure!

SeaWorld-getting ready to get up close and personal with some sea stars

Now we will have to head home & back to reality. This trip helped us get used to Taytam not being around, but now we have to get used to her not being around at home too. School starts in about a week so that should keep us busy!

Some thoughts of Taytam

Dear Family & Friends,

Now that the dust has settled a little, we wanted to share the wonderful experience of Taytam's funeral. It went perfectly-we wouldn't change a thing. It was short, sweet & beautiful, just like Taytam's life. We kept it a very small gathering of just family. We hope that no one is hurt by this, but that is what felt right for us. We took our children a little early to the mortuary, so they could see Taytam again & take a few pictures with her. It was a precious experience to have our little family all together. Then the rest of our family gathered for a beautiful family prayer, given by Danny's brother Todd. Then we went into the chapel for the funeral. We knew that none of us would be able to sing, so our good friend Tiah Wright played the piano while her girls, Hailey & Brinlee sang 'I am a Child of God'. First, Danny spoke & he did a wonderful job. Still not sure how he made it through that? Then President Terrell Lamereaux gave a beautiful talk that brought us a lot of peace. He spoke of our Heavenly Mother, whom we hadn't even thought of yet. Even though we know that Taytam's spirit is an adult, it brought much comfort to think of our baby being taken care of by our sweet Heavenly Mother. Next, our Bishop Brad Nelson gave some comforting closing remarks. Then, Danny & all the worthy Melchizedek Priesthood Holders held Taytam in their arms to give her a name & a blessing. It was a very beautiful & spiritual moment we won't soon forget. The girls closed by singing 'Families can be Together Forever'. We went over to the Tonaquint Cemetery where my dad dedicated the grave-another beautiful prayer. Lastly, my sweet sister-in-law Shannon, brought balloons for all the children to let go & send up to Taytam. Reese didn't want to let hers go, but we finally talked her into it. It was the perfect ending to a perfect ceremony. Went spent the rest of the day with our families-eating delicious food, swimming, talking, & just enjoying each others company.

A couple days later, on Monday, we headed out to San Diego! It was an exhausting, but fun trip. We went to SeaWorld, LegoLand, San Diego Zoo Wild Safari Park, San Diego Zoo, The Mormon Battalion Historical Site, & of course the beach. We had a great time & enjoyed spending time together as we try adjust to life without Taytam.

Now, we are home & trying to adjust to life without Taytam here. It wasn't as hard to come home as we expected, but it will definitely take some time. We just try to stay busy & think happy thoughts. 'Happy thoughts' is why I am writing to all of you again. We have felt so many prayers & so much love & concern that we wanted to share a few thoughts, experiences, quotes & scriptures that have brought comfort & peace to our broken hearts. We hope that you will feel the same comfort & peace...

Danny shared this experience in his talk during Taytam's funeral. Up until that point I had not told anyone else. It is hard to talk about & I worried that people might think I was a little crazy, but this experience was as real as I am sitting here. After learning how much this helped family members who heard it at Taytam's funeral, I have decided to share it with all of you:

At the ER, they continued to administer CPR to Taytam. I was able to sit by her, hold her hand, & talk to her. Of course I was begging her to come back, to wake up, anything! I was petitioning God-I wanted a miracle. My miracle. The doctor told me that because of the recent lab results there was nothing more they could do for her & that they would stop doing CPR when I was ready. I laid my head down on the bed next to Taytam & I received my miracle. I closed my eyes & I saw her. She was standing on a beautiful green hillside, the grass & flowers were knee deep. She was wearing a light colored sun-dress, she had waist-long, blond curly hair that was moving in the breeze, the sun was shining behind her so I couldn't see her face very well but she looked about 8 years old. She was so beautiful, happy & peaceful. Words cannot do it justice. Then she spoke to my mind "I'm okay Mom, I'm okay." It was the hardest, but most spiritual experience of my life. It was my miracle. I will be forever grateful for the peace & reassurance I received in that moment & I think of it often.

The Prophet Joseph Smith said "In my leisure moments I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent & interesting. The strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these: The Lord takes many away in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, & the sorrows & evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, & we shall soon have them again."

The Prophet Brigham Young said "Leaving this world to go to Spirit Paradise is the greatest advantage of our whole existence, for I have passed from a state of sorrow, grief, mourning, woe, misery, pain, anguish & disappointment into a state of existence where I can enjoy life to the fullest extent as far as that can be done without a body. My spirit is free, I thirst no more, I run, I walk, I labor, I go, I come, I do this, I do that, whatever is required of me, nothing like pain or weakness, I am full of life, full of vigor, & I enjoy the presence of my Heavenly Father, by the power of His spirit."

Alma 40:12-And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.

We know that Taytam will be ours to raise during the Millennium, if we are true & faithful. The Prophet Joseph F. Smith taught: "The body will come forth as it is laid to rest, for there is no growth or development in the grave. As it is laid down, so will it arise, & changes to perfection will come by the law of restitution. But the Spirit will continue to expand & develop, & the body, after the resurrection, will develop to the full stature of man."

The Prophet Joseph Smith also taught that: "The mother who laid down her little child, being deprived of the privilege, the joy, & the satisfaction of bringing them up to manhood or womanhood in this world, would, after the resurrection, have all the joy, satisfaction, & pleasure, & even more than it would have been possible to have had in mortality, in seeing her child grow to the full measure of stature of its spirit."

We know that if we live according to the commandments of God, we will have the opportunity & privilege to raise Taytam, to see her grow & develop, to see her baptized & receive all the essential ordinances of the Holy Temple. What peace & comfort this gives our broken hearts. We look forward to this with hope & faith. The joy of that day, gets us through this day.

Now, for the question everyone wants to ask, but no one dares: Will we try to have another baby? The answer for now is probably. We have talked a lot about it & right now we just don't feel like this can be it, the way we end our 'childbearing years'. We feel like adding to our family would help us all to heal, & feel happy again about babies in general. We don't want to end on a sad note, so to speak. But we are going to take some time to pray, fast & attend the temple, to decide if this is really the right decision for our family. Danny had a feeling years ago that we would have 5 children, but now we wonder if that was to have 5 children or raise 5 children? We also know that we would never regret having another child, but years down the road we might regret it if we don't. There are many questions, thoughts & feelings that we need to sort through, it will just take some time.

Averee (8), Adelyn (6), Owen (5) & Reese (2) are doing really well & asking lots of questions-which has been a great learning experience for all of us. The hardest question is WHY, especially when the answer is BECAUSE. Taytam has made the Plan of Salvation a much more real concept for us & we are grateful for our testimonies of this wonderful gospel truth. We miss our sweet little Tater-tot so much it hurts, but we pray that through this experience we can all learn, grow, & feel the comfort of the Holy Ghost & the love of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. This has been, without a doubt, the hardest thing we have ever experienced, but also the most spiritual. It is quite amazing what you can survive if you rely on the Lord. Heaven has never felt closer.

Thank you again & again for all the prayers, thoughts, hugs, cards, gifts, acts of service, flowers, texts, & emails. We could never repay the kindness we have received. We love you!

Love, Danny & Maren

Our Sweet Angel Baby

I just have to tell you all how overwhelmed we are by all the love & support we are receiving. It has been amazing. We are humbled to know how many people love & care about us so much. We are doing a little better each day, for me everything doesn't feel quite so raw & agonizing. The pain is more than I can bare at times, I feel completely empty & lost, but its gets a little better everyday. I am having an easier time controlling my thoughts, which has been a blessing. The Holy Ghost is carrying us thru & we can feel all the love & prayers sent our way.

I wanted to explain a little of what happened wednesday since I am sure everyone has a million questions. Around 10 I fed Taytam her bottle, I burped her, & she fell asleep on my shoulder. I laid her on her tummy, on my side of the bed, so she could smell me. This was only the 3rd time I had tried to put her to sleep on her tummy, but all my other babies had eventually preferred their tummies, so I thought I would try it again. It breaks my heart everytime I think of it-if I could change just one thing...I would give anything to go back in time and put her to sleep in her bouncy seat like I usually did. When I went in to check on her around 12:15, she was face down. I picked her up and started screaming. I called 911 immediately and the dispatcher talked me thru infant CPR. It still amazes me that I was able to do that, but adrenaline had taken over. My 4 other children were home and very scared so I asked Averee to take the younger kids back in a bedroom. When the ambulance arrived they took over CPR & I called Danny. He was in Park City working. He immediately headed home. I rode in the ambulance to the ER. I am so thankful for how quickly people were there with me at the ER & my other children at home. Doing all of this without Danny was horrible, but so many people came and it meant the world to me. After awhile they let me come in the room where they were working on my sweet little Taytam. I was able to talk to her & hold her hand as they continued CPR. I am told they worked on her for over an hour in the ER. I think all along I knew she was gone, but I just couldn't accept it & I kept hoping & praying for a miracle. I have never prayed harder in my life. When the lab results came back, the Dr said that there was nothing more they could do & when I was ready they would stop doing CPR. Nothing prepares you for the pain & agony of a moment like this.

Later when they had cleaned her up, I was able hold her in private. Taytam was gone, but it was still comforting to hold her little body again. Other family and friends were able to hold her as well. The nurses made molds of her hand & feet, which we will treasure with all our hearts forever. They also provided a photographer to come and take some pictures of Taytam and me. I wanted Danny there so badly, my heart ached for him, but he was still driving home from Park City. Being surrounded by family and friends is the only way I got thru this. Danny met Taytam and I at the mortuary, where he was able to hold her & say his good byes. We are having a small family ceremony Saturday morning at 10. I hope everyone understands & isn't hurt that we are keeping it just our families, but that feels right to us. Before the ceremony, a photographer is going to come take pictures of our family & Taytam. The other children haven't seen her yet. I look forward to & dread this at the same time. It is going to be a hard day. As part of the small ceremony Taytam will be given a name and a blessing by Danny, her uncles & grandfathers.

We went yesterday & picked out our plots at Tonaquint Cemetary. We chose 3 in a row & our sweet baby girl will be laid in between us. The past 2 days have been filled with hard questions that you never imagine having to figure out or answer. But we feel the hand of the Lord guiding & helping us thru it all. The kids are doing okay. We just all try to stay busy. Owen & Reese are a little too young to really grasp what is happening. Averee & Adelyn have taken it pretty hard, but they seem a little better each day. The more we talk about it, the better we feel. It is just going to take time. We are so grateful for our testimonies of eternal families. We know that Taytam will be our guardian angel as she waits for us. I know with a surety that we will all be together again one day. The joy of that day gets me thru this day.

Again, we are eternally grateful to all the prayers, calls, cards, gifts, treats & food. It is hard for me to be at home right now, so I am sorry if you stop by & we aren't there. We feel so loved & taken care of, it is overwhelming. We love each & everyone of you.

Love, Maren & Danny

24th of July

We went up to Pine Valley for the 24th of July this year. It was nice and cool-a welcome change from 100+ degree weather in St. George! They served breakfast & then had a short program, followed by relays & games. The kids had a great time-I think we have found a new tradition!

Taytam & Jocelyn

My really good friend Christan Smith came to visit. She had a baby girl about a month and 1/2 before me. They live in Virginia so we don't get to see them very often. It was so good to see Christan & meet little Jocelyn in person. As you can see-Taytam is already bigger than her! It's also funny because Jocelyn was a name we were thinking of for Taytam. Great minds think alike!

Sisters

Reese is really starting to like Taytam :0) She is really cute with her & very soft. Whenever Taytam starts crying, Reese immediately starts yelling 'Mom! Tayum crying!' I love the way Reese says Taytams name-she misses the t in the middle so it sounds like Tayum. At first I was kinda disappointed to have another girl, but it works out well for Reese to have a little sister close to her in age. Hopefully they will grow up to be best friends!

Tater-tot

Taytam has gotten the nickname Tater-tot, which I love! She is a delicious little chunk! She isn't the hardest baby we have had-that was Averee. But she isn't the easiest either-that was probably Owen. She is somewhere in the middle. Sometimes she can be pretty colicky in the evening, but I think she just gets over-stimulated with everyone & everything going on here at home. She loves to be held which is probably my fault. But oh well-I will be the first to admit she is spoiled! She is doing okay nursing-I still have to supplement with a couple bottle a day which is frustrating. She obviously isn't starving-she is such a chubby little toot. She has so many creases in her thighs it makes me laugh! That is fine with me though-I would rather have a stout rolly-polly baby than a thin one. She likes her bath more now-she loves to splash & splash. She almost looks like she is trying to swim, it's pretty entertaining. I still can't believe I have 5 kids-I swear just the other day I was pregnant with Averee!

4th of July

We went to Richfield again this year for the 4th of July. It is so fun to celebrate in a small town. The parade is really fun-the kids love all the floats, bands, dance teams, & candy! This year some F-16's even flew over the parade & that was awesome! We love to go to the park after the parade to be apart of the Fish Grab. They bring in a bunch of trout in some man-made ponds & let the kids try to catch them with their hands. Yuck! But very funny to watch :0) I really gotta start taking more pictures-this is the only picture I have from the trip!

Ojo is 5!

Owen is 5 already! I know I always say this but seriously? Where does the time go? Owen has grown up so much lately-is loves to wrestle with Dad, play the wii, or play with his friends. He loves to tell knock-knock jokes that he makes up. We don't always understand them but he sure thinks they are funny! He wanted a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting & with M&M's on top. Delish! Our cousins came over to celebrate with us. Here is Brecken with Reese, she always just licks the frosting off! Each year for the kids birthdays they get to sleep over at Grandma V's house. Grandma & Grandpa take them out to eat & do whatever else they want! Owen wanted to go to McDonalds & then play the wii. Grandpa also helped Owen put his new Lego's together. What a lucky boy!

So many Helpers!

The kids have been such good helpers with new baby Taytam. They always want to hold her & feed her. She is a very loved & spoiled little girl! But 5 kids is HARD!! It is kicking our butts :0) The laundry alone has completely taken over my life! Oh well, I just have to remember this is the season of our life & we better enjoy it before it's over. Danny has been great too. He has really stepped up & helped more around the house & with the other kids. Everyone seems to be adjusting really well though, even Reese. Thank goodness-I wasn't really sure what to expect from her!

New Pool

What a funny girl!

Each year we get a new blow-up pool (they never make it thru more than one summer). It is totally worth it-the kids get endless hours of fun & usually even get along while they splash away the summer!

Grandma Funk meets Taytam

Grandma Funk came to town to meet Taytam for the first time, so we had to get a picture of her with almost all the grand kids. We are just missing Syrenidie. What a cute bunch of kids!

Reesie-Roo is 2!

Reese is 2! She has grown up so much the last few months. She is a little girl now-not a baby at all. She even helped Daddy make her cake... it was delish!We love you so much Reesie-Roo! You bring so much love & laughter to our home. You are a sweet, funny & smart little girl. Happy Birthday!