It's a...

I have had so many mixed emotions about this pregnancy, this baby.  We are over the moon excited to add another baby to our family.  But also very anxious and nervous about the emotions involved this time around.  I have written about this before in a previous post, so I won't dwell on those emotions.  However, since I announced that we were expecting again, everyone asks what you think you are having, or what you want to have??  Honestly, I couldn't careless!  Part of me wants to answer ' a baby that we get to keep this time', but I don't think that would go over well :) But that is really how I feel, I just want a healthy baby that we get to keep around for a good long time...boy or girl-does it really matter?

A girl: it would be like a second chance, a 'do-over' for Taytam.  Which is kind of a double edge sword...we would never what to 'replace' Taytam-how could we?  And yet, It would be a chance to experience all the girly things that we are missing with Taytam.  But yet, I also worry that I would always be thinking of Taytam, that this should be Taytam, or Taytam would have done this, or looked like this.  UGH!

A boy: obviously we have A LOT of estrogen in our house & a boy would help to even things out a little.  A boy would be a fresh start, a whole new experience from Taytam, or having another girl.  But we would miss that chance to experience what we are missing with Taytam.  But maybe that's good-something different so there isn't so much comparing to do? again-UGH!

But like I said before...does it really matter?  A healthy baby is all I want...all I can ask for.  Plus, it's already been decided-I can't change anything & worrying about it won't make any difference.  Boy or girl-we will love & spoil this baby more than we probably should.

With all that said-drum roll please.....it's a BOY! We are super excited and can't wait to meet our new little man.  It's funny because everyone has said that I am having a boy so I don't think anyone will be too surprised :)  I think I knew deep down that it was a boy, but we are just so used to having girls around here that it almost didn't seem possible...can we even make boys? he he he-yes we can!!